Woman's life- Is There Such A Thing Being Too Independent?
Forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion.
A couple of weeks back a guy told me, I am too independent and it seems I have everything in my life anyone could aspire to have. Further, he added, he is lacking in certain aspects of his life and feels a bit behind than I am in my life. And it really struck a chord with me, well, actually quite a few chords.
I don’t know what to say and how to respond. They view me as if I don’t need anything, to them my life boxes are ticked, and theirs aren’t. Which is crap as they don’t know how I feel about my life and where I believe I can go and tick more boxes or what boxes I feel are empty.
Yes, I am single, live alone and I need to be self-dependent and take care of my all types of need.
If you ask me if I like it being independent, Hell YES!, and sometimes No.
It made me look at my life through the lens of others, and yes, I have come to a place where many of the so-called life’s boxes are ticked. I have cultivated this life by myself independently.
How I view success in my life:
Success is subjective and it means different things to many people. If you think, Yes, I got my dream job this year, I am able to satisfy my creative side. If you look at it, yes I have achieved most things career-wise and personally that most people couldn’t. Has it come easy to me? Of course NOT.
I worked my ass off, took extra responsibilities at work, learned the art of being self-efficient, spent hours in researching things, discovered the world as a backpacker, got me to where I am today and what not. The list is endless.
In many ways, I feel very lucky. No, I don’t own an apartment or a fancy car but that personally isn’t my measure of success. My measure of success is living a life that feels good and knowing that I am enriching my life positively, cultivating personal interests while still being able to afford to go to nice restaurants, and incorporating travel without worrying much.
I am very independent, most importantly financially and with my time. I am the master of my day and what I do.
Independence is not a badge of honor and neither is freedom of choice. Women should have the right to choose to be independent or not. Neither, change our value to society. We are inherently worthy and whole as we are, as we choose to be.
When you hear a romantic interest say your life is full, although primarily it highlights how they feel about themselves, at the same time, it does make you wonder how many other people subconsciously see you this way.
If women were to seem less independent and more in need of care on whatever level, would men and other people be more inclined to reach out? Is the independence we have spent centuries fighting for, seen by ‘the modern man’ as a negative that they low-key don’t want to admit?
Independence comes at a cost and sometimes it’s expensive
People (I believe), always assume that I am okay, or do I always assume that they assume I am fine… ? Anyway, they perceive I am doing my own thing, and I don’t need help. But that’s the thing, I love when someone offers their unsolicited support without me being forced to ask when I have no other option.
I get scared sometimes, what is going to happen when I am sick or out alone in the woods or some bad shit happens when I am away from home. How people are going to find out?
After my covid-19 second vaccine shot, I fell sick and it was absolutely the horrible time. Though I was only sick for a few days, but I did think if I took a sudden turn for the worse, I am alone. My independent nature craved for me to have my own space but at the cost of potentially my life and health.
Being independent does not mean that I can do everything by myself or believe that others can’t add value to my life. Recently, I reconnected with an old friend, and she checks up on me daily thru calls, messages and it felt so nice for someone to care for me even if we are thousands of miles apart.
The truth of the matter is that, as much as we try to resist it, we need other people. We need them to teach us, nurture us, love us, and help us grow.
The perfect life is an illusion and it cannot be achieved.
We all have an idea of a perfect life while seeing social media posts, unhealthy positivity, and a centuries-old ideologies of a perfect family.
We almost want to see it as true even if it’s absurd and unachievable, but we still need to see people, as well as people. My life might seem ‘complete’ to others whether I invite that image or not, but I can tell you it doesn’t feel that way for me, and nor do I know anyone that feels that way.
Sometimes, I am afraid my independent life has cost me many other things I needed in life.
If you are looking at others and thinking their lives are whole and yours is empty, do the work on yourself and stop projecting this idea that other people live this ‘perfect’ life as it is an affinity that cannot be achieved.
And as happy, independent, and self-sufficient as you can become on your own, a much faster path to fulfillment would be embracing the intimacy and community that already exists all around you.
Be Bold
Be Courageous
Be Your Best
More stories on self and love:
Me Dealing With My Online Dating Life
That’s Why I am Going To Ghost Him
Woman’s Life — Why Marriage is Important Or May be Not!
Welcome to Drthefit’s Newsletter—Drthefit.
Writing has always been a passion since I was a young kid. I read, take photos and love taking risks. Fitness enthusiast and making everyday worth living.
I publish posts every week and some more. My writing is personal and reflection of my experience, life journey and learnings. I write about health, fitness, well-being, every day lessons-hacks, self care, self love and how to balance career and home.
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